I just bought a lifetime supply of CocaCola products, thanks to Pepsi’s incredibly offensive new iPhone app. The app, called AMP Up Before You Score (apparently aiming to promote Pepsi’s AMP energy drink), helps men “score” with different types of women by breaking us down into 24 categories, including “sorority girl,” “indie rock chick,” “womens studies major,” and “married.” Awesome, Pepsi, you really outdid yourself on this one.
Once a woman is defined by her type, says the advertisement, “the rest is a snap. Check the app for her profile, and review the cheat-sheet providing details as to what she’s into, and more importantly what sure-fire pick-up lines will cinch the deal.”
Is she into art? Quote Picasso! Is she into the environment? Recycle your beer can! Does she have a brain? Get rid of your pathetic, womanizing iPhone app before she realizes you’re a tool!
Here’s the best part: after you score with the girl thanks to the cool app on your iphone, you can click a link that automatically brags about it on Facebook and Twitter. So classy.
You have to see this with your own eyes to believe it:
I’m… I’m speechless. How did this fly with both Pepsi and Apple? Aren’t there women who work at those companies? Did they not get invited to the editorial meeting?
Let’s take a look at the 24 categories:
Foreign Exchange Student
Indie Rock Girl
Punk Rock Girl
Women’s Studies Major
I probably fall into about 10 of those categories. If a man tried to use this app to figure me out, his iPhone would explode in his face. I mean, Women’s Studies major? Here’s a better way to use your phone to figure out what kind of books a Women’s Studies major might enjoy: dial her number and ask her, you jackass.
Is anyone actually going to use this? And more importantly, why are Pepsi and Apple endorsing a program that aims to help men score with married women? Am I the only person that has a major, major problem with that?
I smell a Pepsi boy-cott on the horizon.