Guilty Pleasures

19 10 2009

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Saturday night I found myself perched on a bench in the sweaty basement of Saint Ex.  The DJ was a dead ringer for Biggie Smalls, and he was jamming out all night to 90s R&B and hip-hop.  He played Trick Daddy’s “Dro in da Wind,” followed by Mary J. Blige’s “Family Affair,” followed by a little Outkast until my muted head-bops had escalated into full-on, unabashed grooving.

When I could no longer contain my enthusiasm for these old-school tunes, I boogied over to the DJ booth to start making requests.  Biggie was wearing headphones and juggling records, and I could barely see over the turntables, so it took him a minute to notice me.  When he finally did make eye contact for a hot second, I squeezed in a request:

HeycanyouplayCreepbyTLC?!

He completely ignored me.  So I decided to press on.

Hey you got any BoyzIIMen? How about Bel Biv DeVoe?

I know he heard me, but instead of acknowledging my requests he shot a glance at the large man standing next to him (lover? pimp? parole officer?), who then looked at me with a mixture of boredom and disappointment.

I slumped back over to my seat.  Apparently there’s an obvious difference between “cool” and “uncool” 90’s tunes, and my taste crossed the line.

I used to spend way too much time being embarrassed about my “guilty pleasures.” If a music guru were to borrow my iPod for a run, I would quickly delete all the Mariah Carey, most of the country songs, and definitely that heinous Sting song about desert roses (…”I dream of raaain, eleyele”… yea, I secretly love it).

But guess what folks– I’m 26, and I’ve decided to stop caring.  Why should we feel “guilty” about our pleasures?  Who decided that Biggie was cool and that Boyz II Men wasn’t, and why should everyone subscribe to that judgment?  What’s wrong with reading a tabloid mag and a Faulkner novel on the same plane ride?

The only way to take the “guilt” out of “guilty pleasures” is to own up to them, like a sinner to a priest.  So here they are, my guiltiest of pleasures in no particular order:

Dancing with the Stars— that’s right folks, I can’t get enough of that show.  The sparkly outfits, the choreographed routines, the burgeoning pro/celebrity relationships, they all light my fire.

Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men, the early stuff.  Pure euphoria.

People and USWeekly magazines–  I especially enjoy the pictures of celebrity toddlers.  What are you gonna do about it?

The Trouble With Love Is,” That Kelly Clarkson song from Love Actually. Boom.

Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!— I went through 4 boxes of kleenex during that movie and it wasn’t even sad. All bad romantic comedies get me going, for that matter, especially if they star Hugh Grant.

Eat, Pray, Love Being a literature major, this one was especially difficult to admit.  It’s as fun to read as it is completely uncool.

Country music from the 90’s, mainly George Strait, Garth Brooks and Alan Jackson. Listening to these artists is acceptable in Louisiana, but apparently not elsewhere.  Call someone who cares.

Ace of Base— I don’t know if they count because everyone loves them, but I especially love them.

…and finally (gulp)….

InStyle WeddingsOuch!  No I’m not getting married any time soon, but yes, I love looking at the pretty flower arrangements and… wait what?  Someone opted for cupcakes instead of a traditional wedding cake?! My mind has officially been blown!

Wow, I feel like a new person.  Can anyone top this?  I know someone here watches Celebrity Fit Club or listens to Barbara Streisand on the DL… out with it!

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20 responses

20 10 2009
Geof

Similar to liking country music outside of Louisiana, liking and owning firearms inside the Beltway is somewhat of a guilty pleasure. and now that i think about it, I bought a few of them when I lived in Shreveport, LA. whatever…my band of survivors will be glad I have them during the zombocalypse.

20 10 2009
taylor

I just want to say I am really excited to get these off of my chest. In the spirit of the post, please keep your judgments to yourselves.

1. Mariah Carey. 2 songs in particular… Always Be My Baby, and All I Want for Christmas is You.

2. Love Actually. This movie actually features one of the songs in my number 1 guilty pleasure, which for me was like eating cotton candy while riding on an awesome rollercoaster… sensory overload.

3. Justin Timberlake. Pretty much most of his songs.

4. The Bachelorette. Since no one is judging, I guess it doesn’t matter who forced me to get attached to this show. I just had to make sure she didn’t end up picking Wes, who played a cheesier version of the 90’s country music mentioned in the original blog.

5. I also caught a lot of heat for going to a Coldplay concert, which I enjoyed. I didn’t know that was uncool, but I wore that one for a few weeks.

the end.

20 10 2009
BS

I am a man and i’ve seen the devil wears prada at least 5 times.

Every single time I was alone. No one forced me to see it. No one got me hooked on it.

I f***ing love that movie.

20 10 2009
BS

correction, I WAS a man….up until I admitted to the above

20 10 2009
Southern Girl

I hate sushi. Not a guilty pleasure…a guilty dislike. Embarrassingly uncool. And I love American Idol. Toward the end of the season I’m calling the contestants by their first names like I know them personally.

20 10 2009
luke

SINCE U BEEN GOOOOOOOOONNNNNNE

20 10 2009
Liz

Hey, that’s the new shit from America. Just ask Jodi.

20 10 2009
B

I know somehow I’m going to take this too far, but I feel relieved to admit that I secretly listen to Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend” on a weekly basis. The Pokemon theme song has also earned a spot in my iPod, and I’m unashamed to say that I know every word.

BS, now that I’ve seen your courage, I have to come clean. I first saw The Devil Wears Prada at my girlfriend’s house. I was so ashamed to be seen staring with so much interest by her siblings as they passed through the room that I honestly lied down, nearly closed my eyes, and watched the entire movie squinty-eyed to dodge criticism. Needless to say, I loved it. There it is. Shoot me.

I’m a new man.

20 10 2009
districtramblings

FYI “B” and “BS”, you big weenies, it defeats the purpose of the exercise if you don’t use your whole first name. GROW a pair, boys.

20 10 2009
Sara

Yesterday at work we had to fill our a survey about our holiday likes/dislikes for the holiday party. For “Favorite Holiday Song” I answered ” ‘Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays’ by *NSync” (Mariah was obviously a close second in my book, both beating out the classics like Jingle Bells and Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas).

20 10 2009
Anne

Guilty pleasures? I have many.

1. Greek, the ABC family college soap… about… gulp (don’t vomit Laura), the greek system at Cyprus Rhodes University, aka UVA. I don’t know if its because I basically never graduated from college, or its the use of one of my favorite terms, “townie”, but this show totally rocks my boat. Secretly, of course….until now.
http://archives.uvamagazine.org/site/c.esJNK1PIJrH/b.4021567/k.1607/April_2008_Enewsletter_Feature.htm

2. Nip Tuck. Oh my gosh, I loathe myself for this one. For years I would see disturbing pictures advertising for nip tuck that featured beautiful women with stitch marks or bandages on their faces ( exhibit A: http://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/originals/niptuck/) and shudder in disgust. People told me it was a satire but I still judged anyone who would support such a show. Then, under the powerful thumb of a very cute man, I put my self righteousness on the shelf for an evening and actually watched a show. The rest is history and I would totally go on a hot date with Christian. Or Sean.

3. Disney music. I think that this means that I’m admitting to being a 9yr girl (red flag for all you men out there, as if the fact that I would consider going on a date with fictional TV characters isn’t enough of one ) but sometimes, especially when I’m baking cookies, there is nothing better than a little “I can show you the world”. Seriously.

4. Amy Grant. Ok, so I too am a huge Mariah Carey fan but I guess its the preacher’s daughter in me that makes my red blood run true blue [for you Amy].

5. Online television. Let’s just say I watch a lot of it. Enough said.

20 10 2009
bros

1. French fries
2. manicures
3. chinese foot massage
4. morning joe
5. Tru TV
6. celebitchy.com, dlisted
7. all of my music
8. disgust with Ethiopian food
9. tanning
10. Tang

20 10 2009
woman of non-leisure

1.) The trouble with love is is by Kelly Clarkson?? I had no idea? No wonder I love it so much!

2.) SYTYCD. Swear to god I went to the live concert for the season 5 top 10 last week in Long Island. And then I bought the “Get Fit” SYTYCD exercise video off of amazon.

3.) Bad horror movies. Heebie Jeebies in particular, but most korean horror also fits the bill. My main requirement is that the movie includes tits and vom. Because that equates to classy film making.

4.) The peyton manning United way snl skit. I watch it at least once a week during football season.

Phew!

21 10 2009
B

taylor (02:13:39) : “In the spirit of the post, please keep your judgments to yourselves.”

Well said, Taylor.

Fair enough, ramblings. To avoid the “weenie” accusation, my first name is Scotty. If you want, I can also give an address and a cell number for hate mail. Just let me know.

21 10 2009
graber

The Jane Austen Book Club.
Have I ever read Jane Austen? No.
Do I ever intend on reading said Jane Austen? No.
Am I all about this movie. Yes.

21 10 2009
Paci

To echo Luke, I forced a DJ in Thailand to play Since U Been Gone WHILE THERE WAS A BAND PLAYING because it was, indeed, the new shit from America (thanks for the shout out Liz). What followed is both embarrassing and painful – I danced so hard I peed in my pants and couldn’t look left for three days.

24 10 2009
Hugh Forever

I could snort a “Four Weddings”/”Notting Hill”/”Bridget Jones” triple feature right now and I will f* up anyone who has a problem with that.

6 11 2009
Jaron

In the interest of curing my insomnia and easing my conscious I can now free my copy of Love Actually from the confines of the t-shirt drawer. It will assume it’s rightful place between Lord of War and Lucky # Slevin. Oh sweet slumber how I have missed you.

11 11 2009
sacalait killa

1) “Wife-Swap” marathons.
2) Riding my scooter as if it were a beefed up Harley-Davidson.
3) Believing my dog is of superior intelligence to all others.
4) Checking google trends for the queries du jour.
5) peopleofwalmart.com
6) Successfully ‘befriending’ anyone working behind a cash register.
7) DVRing the British House of Commons sessions on CSPAN.

Beat that!

BTW: I am happy with who I am and no I do not need an Intervention!

11 11 2009
District Ramblings

[…] my Saturday mornings watching CSPAN, but in lieu of Sacalait Killa’s recent admission on my Guilty Pleasures post that he DVRs British Parliament sessions, I don’t know if any of you are in a position to […]

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