Let me preface this letter by saying that although you and I couldn’t be any more different, I fiercely defended you after your controversial answer in the Miss USA pageant. While I strongly disagree with your stance that only marriage “between a man and a woman” should be considered legal and valid, I applaud you for having the balls to actually state your honest opinion on a controversial topic at a beauty pageant, where the contestants are notoriously trained to answer “world peace” regardless of the question. Perez Hilton is a jerk for asking a Miss USA contestant whether same-sex marriage should be legalized in every state, knowing that either way you answered you were going to piss off half of California and the nation.
With that said, in the wake of the pageant, your statements and life decisions have been a slow-motion train wreck. You could have simply stood up for your answer, emphasized that you are justified in giving your opinion when it’s asked for and that the media is being ironically hypocritical in showing such intolerance to your political views. You should have kindly made them feel like assholes for trashing your personal opinion, and then lay low until the buzz died down.
Instead, after being stripped of your crown for allegedly “refus[ing] to work with pageant officials” (aka speaking out against gay marriage when you’re just supposed to be a pretty face), you decided to start talking about your “strong Christian faith” all over the media while bringing a high-profile “religious discrimination” lawsuit against the Miss USA pageant, knowing that this kind of attack was going to force them to ruin your life and public image. While you were all over Fox News talking about your “faith in Jesus Christ” and “traditional morals” and “Christian beliefs,” your ex-boyfriend was circulating your EIGHT raunchy sex videos, and pageant officials were announcing that they had sponsored your fake boobs, making you look like a world-class hypocrite. I can’t defend you anymore if you’re going to continue to dig your own grave.
Also, you definitely should have refrained from telling Christianity Today that you “don’t see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn’t get breast implants.” The Bible was written thousands of years ago, Carrie– breast implants hadn’t been invented yet. I don’t see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn’t send people anthrax mail, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna buy a pack of envelopes and get started tomorrow, know what I’m sayin?
Either learn to edit yourself, or just stop saying things altogether. Your tantrum on Larry King Live was atrocious and embarrassing. He simply asked you why you decided to settle your lawsuit, and you told him he was being inappropriate and tried to rip your microphone off. Larry King asks questions for a living, Carrie. He’s an old, respected anchor. You are an evangelical beauty queen with 8 sex tapes. Who’s the inappropriate one here?
One final word of advice, Carrie. If you’re trying to distance yourself from the media’s image of you as a raging hypocrite, then when someone asks you who your hero is on national television, please, for the love of Jesus, DON’T ANSWER “SARAH PALIN,” EVER, EVER AGAIN. Just pick a new hero. There are tons of good, solid, conservative, Bible-beating heroes. Pick one with a brain and a history of doing good things for people. Or more importantly, pick one with a history of not being a hypocrite. Are we on the same page here? Are we even reading the same book?
You’re very pretty, and you published a memoir. Hooray for you! Now do yourself a favor and disappear for a few years, or at least stop flapping your gums. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, and America has enough talentless celebrities to mock.