This is Why America’s Fat

6 01 2010

Have you seen the commercial for Taco Bell’s new Drive Thru Diet? It’s a gem.

I honestly couldn’t tell whether the commercial was serious or not when I first saw it.  I thought it might be a spoof, so I rewound it a few times to watch it again, combing through it for hints of sarcasm.  Nope.  Dead serious.

I think it’s hilarious that the Taco Bell marketing team has Christina slip in little ambiguous lines to cover their asses, such as “These results are exceptional,” which could mean both “These results are fantastic!” and “These results will not happen for you!”

Taco Bell, the public is not as dumb as you think I wish I could say the public is not as dumb as you think, but unfortunately, there are millions of people out there who are just begging for a reason to continue eating and feeding their children fast food. You are all enablers, and you should be ashamed of yourselves.

I actually know someone who tried Taco Bell’s drive-thru diet.  She didn’t turn out to be one of the “exceptions”– but she’s only on day 4,567 of the diet, so there’s still room for improvement.

She was bummed she didn’t make it onto the “Drive-Thru Diet” commercial, especially considering how faithfully she’d followed the diet, but the Taco Bell marketing execs told her she wasn’t exactly the image they had in mind.

Taco Bell is revolting.  I used to eat it on the road sometimes when I was feeling especially hungry/lazy, until one day I ordered a Meximelt that tasted like petroleum.  Seriously, something was wrong with it. My stomach wasn’t the same for days.

I think that little “Yo quiero Taco Bell” chihuahua was the closest Taco Bell has ever come to an honest, effective campaign. Of course the chihuahua wants Taco Ball, their meat is only one grade above dog food!  (And let’s be honest– that commercial taught us all a little bit of Spanish!)

But with this campaign, Taco Bell marketing execs are preying on dumb people and blatantly contributing to this nation’s obesity problems.  How about instead of a “drive-thru diet,” we call it a walk-thru diet, but instead of walking thru Taco Bell, you walk thru a grocery store and buy yourself some squash.

Just a suggestion.



11 responses

6 01 2010

Whoa dude, we should just pitch every fast food restaurant that we can get in shape on a diet of eating just a their food. On a related note, I’ll bet Christina has Aides.

6 01 2010

Playing Devil’s Advocate. How is this different than Jared “Big Pants” Fogle as spokesperson for Subway? I mean, if I exercise everyday and only ate pico de gallo and cheese with a teaspoon of grade D beef in a soft taco every other day, I could loose weight. But the key is exercise and proper diet.

Now if I can just figure out how to get my girlish figure back drinking booze and eating gumbo everyday without exercise I could make a killing here in NOLA.

6 01 2010

good point rocky. i feel this way about the special K diet ‘challenge’ too: replace two meals with 2 bowls of cereal (serously? WTF?) and have a normal dinner and you will lose weight. well, no shit, because a bowl of cereal serving size is like 200-250 calories. and the same thing with slim fast-replace 2 ENTIRE meals with a can of sweet liquid and eat a normal dinner? I would be murdering people for some protein before lunch. point being, you can indeed lose weight if you were a gigantic fatty mccornsyrup and you were eating the worst things on the taco bell menu and then you switched to the ‘healthiest’ things on the menu. its really just a calorie count if you dont mind 75 unpronounceable chemicals building up in your blood after a while, and it does have an analogue in the subway thing-there are healthy things there and unhealthy things like meatballs. I actually think this is a shrewd marketing ploy. im all for it.

6 01 2010

rambler: what pictures did you reject? please never show them to anyone.

it’s an evolutionary problem. we are members of a wealthy, complex, and delicious society trapped in the bodies of hunter-gatherers. simple carbohydrates and fats used to be much harder to come by. being calorically dense, we evolved to prefer them. industrial practices and expendable incomes transform limiting these foods from a scarcity issue into a will power issue that many people can’t win.

but should corporations be held responsible? not sure. i do think it would help if the gov’t subsidized other vegetables instead of corn, and public schools started serving higher quality foods instead of low-grade fast food. bad modeling of eating behaviors for kids. I read somewhere that a school principal ended contract with food company and hired a chef/ingredients for same money and totally turned lunch program around.

6 01 2010

so does your friend have a name/number?

most diet programs and things alike on the tv all say that these results are uncommon or some bullshit. taco bell is like roaches. you will never get rid of them. the only way that taco bell will disappear in the forsseable future is to eliminate marijuana in the united states: good luck.

6 01 2010

still love the plush dolls. still love the cheesy bean and rice burrito. People in Phoenix roll a good burrito–even at Taco Smell

7 01 2010

plush dolls? is that on the dollar menu?

7 01 2010
Jayneyomama's friend

Hey Geof–I like that “hunter-gatherer” description. You hunt and I’ll gather. Is that kinda like shopping?

8 01 2010

Its a lot like shopping! People who really enjoy shopping are probably using the same types of skills gatherers and even hunters would have been using 10,000 to 150,000 years ago everywhere, or even today in the remotest regions. For example, when shopping, you’re walking to new places not knowing what is there, or places you’ve been to before, looking to see what’s changed, looking for the objects, plants, animals that meet your requirements. The difference is hunter/gatherers possesions were limited to what they could carry, while we are limited only by the size of our house, storage units, or clutter we can tolerate. Needs and wants are much easier to define for that lifestyle.
Seen the hoarders show? No hunter/gatherer hoarders. Credit card debt? No problem there either, b/c no fixed address for bills to come to.

8 01 2010
Jayneyomama's friend

I LOVE “HOARDERS”. My husband says i like freakTV. LB, do a blog on Hoarders. If you come to my house on the day before the housekeeper shows up you could get some lifelike video.

24 03 2011

wow… i just got a boner from this… O_O

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