A Typical January Day:
11:30 pm- Go to bed in a full sweatsuit– heavy socks, sweatpants, sweatshirt, the whole shebang.
3:00 am- Wake up sweating under 12 blankets and angrily peel off socks and sweatsuit.
7:38 am- Alarm goes off across the room (strategic). It’s about 7 degrees in my room despite our alleged “central heating”, so I dive back under the covers, put sweatsuit back on and shiver for 9 minutes until the alarm goes off again.
7:47 am- Alarm goes off again. I begin to threaten myself with consequences– “If you don’t get out of bed now you will not be going out this weekend.” Doesn’t work.
8:05 am- Finally get out of bed. Put on 18 layers of clothes, including tights, jeans, socks, boots, Northface hat, extra long scarf, fleece jacket…. GOD DAMMIT, WHERE ARE MY GLOVES?!
8:10 am- Leave the house all bundled up, except for my gloves, which I must have left in the car.
8:20 am- See the bus I’m supposed to be on drive by while I’m in line for coffee. Shit.
8:25 am- Walk a mile to metro with snow pelting me in the face, occasionally slipping due to the wrong kind of boots, switching the coffee cup back and forth between my bare, freezing hands so that each of them has a fair turn in my coat pocket.
8:35 am- Arrive at metro station. Coffee and hands are painfully cold, torso and head are hot and sweaty. This has to defy physics, or something.
8:55 am- Stroll into the office, exasperated and looking like I just came from the gym. Peel off sweaty layers with numb hands, use Northface hat to wipe sweat off brow in the absence of a tissue. People are looking at me.
8:57 am- Electrocute my finger on the metal doorhandle of the bathroom, AGAIN.
8:59 am- Microwave the remainder of my soy latte, even though it makes it taste kinda bad.
9:00 am- The workday officially…begins???
9:01 am- Consider strangling myself with my computer’s power cord.
Bostoners, Chicagoers- how do you do it every year?! Am I missing something?