9. My neighborhood has a random El Salvadorian gang problem, which gives me mad street cred.
Scratch that off the list. My car got broken into last night– window smashed in, radio stolen. I’m not saying it was an El Salvadorian— I’m just saying, shitty neighborhoods are not all they’re cracked up to be. I have glass lodged in my butt cheeks from trying to drive my car to the local auto repair shop without getting all the shards off the seat, and I’m pretty sure that somebody somewhere is rolling on the floor laughing at the irony of my car getting broken into the day after I post a “10 Reasons Why I Love D.C.” blog.
Screw you D.C., that’s the last time I ever say a nice thing about you.
In other news, some genius other than me at the Huffington Post came up with a fantastic SOTU drinking game, and I’m kicking myself for not having beat him to the punch: