Crappy Valentines Day

11 02 2010

I always get a kick out of Valentines Day.  No one I know has ever admitted to liking it– I don’t know how many times I’ve heard someone say that Valentines Day is a meaningless, corporate-created, consumer-driven holiday, and that he/she prefers to be romantic on every other day when it’s less expected.

Be honest– that’s not why you hate Valentines Day.  You hate it because A) you are single, B) you are dating someone who hates it and don’t want to get your hopes too high, or C) you were one of those kids that never got a Valentine at school.

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are just as corporate-created and consumer-driven as Valentines Day, but I never hear anyone complaining about how dumb those holidays are.  That’s because those holidays don’t make you feel like a loser.

Valentines Day always made me feel like a loser.  I went to an all-girls high school, so it was an extra big deal when a boy went out of his way to send a girl flowers.  Some girls could count on receiving flowers from one or multiple boys every year.  The bouquet would arrive with a cute little note in it, and we would all stand around ogling it, green with envy, while she acted like it was no big deal because Gross, he’s my neighbor, and he’s had a crush on me for like, forever.

The only gift I ever received from a boy in high school was a Chipper Jones keychain on my sixteenth birthday, because I had apparently mentioned one time that I thought he was hot.

Chipper Jones

How romantic.

Girls like me who were conditioned to measure our self-worth by the amount of valentines we received on February 14 will always have a little bit of a complex.  We hate Valentines Day, and we fully realize how dumb it is, but at the same time, we are secretly disappointed when our boyfriends fail to acknowledge the day altogether. In fact, I would venture to say that all girls, especially the ones who vehemently proclaim they don’t care, still hope deep down for some form of valentine.

So, in case you’re scrambling for a last-minute card for your “too cool for Valentines Day” significant other this year (and E-bay is out of Chipper Jones key-chains), here are a few great ideas, courtesy of

And my personal favorite:

Happy Valentines Day all!




4 responses

12 02 2010

I came across this article that is proof americans are willing to pay for the dumbest, and in this case, terrifying acid tripping, things ever.

sad about your breakup and cant get over your ex? Have Death Bear visit you. yes, Death Bear.

12 02 2010

dammit brooklyn, quit doing weird shit. if it was in another country, i’d think “oh, there must be some folklore about bears coming to take your sad memories away” but that can’t be it. but it isn’t, so i have to assume its b/c brooklyn is a haven for nuts. nuts with balls.

12 02 2010

LB thinks its brooklyn because there are weird trippy little hipsters who need this kind of service. this does have an eau de folklorique about it, youre right.

12 02 2010

Beg to differ with your take on Mothers and Fathers day not making someone feel like a loser…just ask a childless (not by choice) couple…

I think the quest for the almighty dollar has driven the significance of these “special days” way out of proportion! What IS important is that those you love know it, feel it, and hear it from you!

love you, lb!!!

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