Rattlesnake: It’s What’s for Breakfast.

16 02 2010

Part of my job lately is to round up interesting/tragic stories of former middle class families who are now slipping into poverty as a result of the recession.  In an article I wrote a couple weeks ago featuring a couple of these families, I put a little note in the introduction asking people to email me their own stories.

As a result, I’ve spent the entire past week combing through hundreds of the most depressing e-mails you could ever imagine. “I lost my job, my husband left me, my child got the plague and my dog got run over by a truck, all in the same day.”

E-mails like that.  E-mails that make me want to pour steaming hot coffee in my eyeballs and jump out the window of my office building.

But today I received one that caught my eye.  This guy Jeff wrote me a very upbeat, optimistic e-mail describing his turn from middle class to homeless.  His story is similar to the others– he had a 2-story house, a deck, a pool, his own business.  Business plummeted, he lost his house, couldn’t find a job, and now he, his wife, and his two young boys are living in a mobile home, moving from city to city in search of work.

I liked his attitude in the e-mail, and I had a feeling he might have some interesting stories to tell, so I gave him a call.  “How do you cope?” I asked him.  “How do your kids cope?  How do you feed them?”

“Oh we do just fine,” he tells me, “My kids see it as an adventure.  Last week, a giant rattlesnake actually slithered up to the campground.  Since I’m not receiving a paycheck, I figured, What the hell?  So I speared it, roasted it, and fed it to my 3-yr-old for breakfast.  Real depression-era shit.  But he’ll be all the better for it.”

“What do you mean he’ll be better for it?” I ask him.

“Well, my grandfather grew up during the Great Depression,” he says, “And he’s a bad-ass old man.  He eats moldy pizza.  He’s the hardest working mother-f*cker you’ll ever meet.  And he doesn’t take a damn thing for granted.  That’s how my kids will be, and I’m proud to say so.”

You know, this is something I hadn’t thought about.  How is the next generation going to be affected by this depression?  How are we going to be different, having experienced such a ridiculous unemployment level at this crucial time in our lives?  Will we be more careful with our money?  Will we be penny-pinchers?  Will our kids be less spoiled than many of us were? Will they be stronger, harder working?

Talking to this man was enlightening, despite the fact that he was a little bit nuts.  I think I’d be a little nuts too if I were stuck living in a camper with my entire family for over a year, eating rattlesnakes for breakfast.  Can you imagine?  But he’s really got such a positive attitude.  He didn’t complain once.  I was practically begging him to complain, you know, for the pathos element of my article, but he refused.  He kept calling his situation an “adventure” and assuring me that it could be worse.

Jeff is currently on his way to Austin to try to make it as a blues singer.  It’s a long shot, but maybe he’ll succeed.  And you know what?  He’s probably right about his 3-yr-old… that kid is going to be a bad-ass.




4 responses

17 02 2010
Edward Dandyhands

Blues singer! ….Might as well head out to Californ-i-ay to pan for gold…

C’mon, you’re a father and a husband…how about pursuing something a little more stable and with less barriers to entry… Blues singer…psh…

Join a temp agency and slither your way into a job, or if you’re blue collar guy, get in with a union, etc…

Just being practical.

17 02 2010

He can’t get a job and he can’t get in with a temp agency because his credit is so bad. He tried to get a job at walmart and they turned him down.

17 02 2010

That dude is right on the money about hard times teaching you some good lessons. I have been getting in trouble with Lisa for years by asking for a depression to teach all the babies (not actual babies) in this country what’s important in life. I’m pretty sure there is an Arab proverb that says something about each generation that lives in the city, away from the harsh lifestyle of the desert, becomes more and more pussified. At some point, the citified types will become so complacent and useless, the desert badasses will move in and take over. And then the cycle repeats. Haha, surprise! The lesson is that nothing ever changes, just don’t be a little bitch. Some valuable things to learn before we are overrun are: don’t be a finicky bitch about they way foods taste; or, if the ambient air temperature pleasest thou not, put on some fucking clothes instead of blasting your space heater under your desk; i “deserve” this giant fat piece of whatever–nobody deserves shit. you earn it and then maybe you get it. However, you can’t explain it this was to babies or small children. “Eat that goddamn snake or you’ll never be like granddad” is too harsh. You have to be like, “mmm, this rattlesnake is pretty good” and then have them smell/lick it, and model the behavior by eating a bunch yourself and loving it. Oh, don’t forget to try to start a music career while unemployed with a three year old. It guarantees your kid will learn many great lessons about being poor It will work even if it isn’t a recession/depression.

17 02 2010

I would gladly eat rattlesnake for breakfast, but I will not give up the space heater under my desk which has become my constant companion even while wearing plenty of clothes. I too wonder about kids growing up in the 2008’s. I think its great people might think twice about buying more plastic shit from toys r us that goes immediately into a landfill or endless wii video games and might have to be imaginative, develop some executive function, and play with a stick and some sap.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: