Lamebook

9 03 2010

What I find really creepy about Facebook is the way it blurs the public and private spheres of our lives.  The other day, I found myself flipping through a friend’s photo album of her newborn baby.  Problem is, she’s not actually my friend– I met her once or twice in college.  We’re not even friends on Facebook.  I found the pictures in a mutual friend’s profile.  So there I was, checking out intimate pictures of her in her hospital gown holding her brand spanking new-born baby, and it occurred to me that she probably wouldn’t even recognize me on the street.  How creepy is that?

The only redeeming factor of the above story is that I fully realized how creepy it was that I could see this girl’s private pictures on Facebook, so I immediately upped all my privacy settings, deleted any information in my profile that I would not want my boss to read, and thoroughly edited my own picture albums.

But some people really don’t seem to understand the boundary between public and private these days, or the many dangers of crossing that boundary on a social networking site like Facebook.  By that, I mean they WAY over-share the intimate details of their lives, probably not realizing that websites like Lamebook.com exist solely for the purpose of ridiculing them.  For those of you unfamiliar with Lamebook, it’s a website that reposts the very best, worst and funniest of Facebook moments for our comedic enjoyment.

Thanks to Lamebook, I can now easily identify the four main types of Facebook users that really offend me with their rampant over-sharing.

Exhibit A: The Medical Over-sharer

Caitlin went from being “in a relationship” to “single.”

Caitlin: is lost and just got hit from left field…

Martha: I know you have had a rough day but wanted to let you know about grandpa bill. He is in the hospital. Has a bladder infection, is majorly constipated and has shingles. Also passed out/coded while trying to have a bowel movement to get the constipation cleared up.  He is fine now but they are keeping him at least overnight. Meredith went home to stay with grandma. He should be ok in a couple days. Love you

**************

Exhibit B: People who use their public Facebook wall to end a relationship.

Nick is no longer listed as “in a relationship.”

Anna-Marie: ohh when the f*ck did we break up. watever…

Nick: when i see u monday

Tiffany went from being “married” to “single.”

Sara: Huh?

Ivy: ?

Sean: Yea I just now noticed it… I havent gotten papers yet… oh well…

Amanda is in a relationship.

Sean: WOO HOO Congrats!

Mike: Just cause we had sex does not mean were dating.

*************

Exhibit C: The personal details over-sharer.

Mikey became a fan of Itching Your Balls Through Your Pocket.

****************

Exhibit D: The dumb, pregnant over-sharer.

Dalena: omg i know we def need 2 drink 2gether but im kinda prego right now lmao but def after have my baby girl

Sarah: haha shit dalena when did that happen

Dalena: Bout 5 months ago after bingo 1 night me and my boyfriend got a lil freaky in da car and forgot protection so yeah lmao

Sarah: grrrrrrl you always were a lil freak hahaha

LMAO, for those of you who don’t know, means “Laughing my ass off.”  Prego girl uses it twice in referring to her own state of pregnancy. I’m just speechless.

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7 responses

9 03 2010
graber

love lamebook. Just yesterday someone I know who had a baby a year ago posted:
“Meg: ok…just so people know why i am not returning any messages etc….brian is near death with what appears to be the stomach flu. i need him to stop shitting and vomiting before i can function. he got the illness from his daughter, who is also shitting and vomitting. i, on the other hand, am just fine. years of accidentally ( or on purpose) getting other’s poop in my mouth. i have immunity.”

9 03 2010
bored at work

As an ode to a couple of my friends who like to constantly update their facebook with anything and everything happening in their day to day existence, I wrote this little commercial, ” Today we salute you, Mr. Serious Facebook Status Updater. For either pure enjoyment, or just the sheer satisfaction of being intimately connected to the entire book of faces community, you meticulously keep your status updated with up to the minute GPS locations of your actions and thoughts. Please keep up the good work, we are all very interested in every move, thought and bowel movement that you have.” Thought yall might enjoy.

9 03 2010
Liveforyourblog

I live for your blog. Hope my guffaws are reaching you from Astoria. I would say I was LMAO but then I would have to kill myself.

9 03 2010
bros

My feelings on facebook are well known, but my personal favorite is when the brother of your husband’s iranian business partner posts pictures of himself protesting the current iranian regime as a London university student and the iranian government comes demanding the family’s passports and an oath that he will never again be caught protesting on facebook asking where his vote is. hah hah. facebook is so cute.

9 03 2010
geof

Remember when I said the basics of social interaction should be covered in public schools? This should probably be covered too. And we need a Facebook app that tells people when they are unwittingly outing themselves as one of the 90 types of bitches.

9 03 2010
John C

LMFO, or “laughing my fetus off.”

9 03 2010
jayneyomama's friend

Facebook and such are reflecting a large group (hopefully not an entire generation) characterized by extreme nosiness, narcissism, and nobrainers (I would have just said stupid but have a weakness for alliteration.) These could represent the future, certainly the present. Bleak, weak.

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