Is Bad Taste in Music a Dealbreaker?

17 03 2010

A couple days ago on E-mails from Crazy People, a website that collects and posts crazy e-mails people have received, a man admitted to smashing all of his girlfriend’s CDs because, well, she has really crappy taste in music and he couldn’t take it anymore

The e-mail is frameable:

Sally,
I know I’m a wimp for emailing but I want to be honest. You asked where your CD’s went, and I told you I didn’t know. I know. I destroyed them. At least all the bread and Dan Fogelberg CDs, same with the Air Supply and Wham. It’s been almost 2 months and I swear i couldn’t take it anymore.

I tried to overlook the truth, that you have the worst taste in music of anyone I’ve ever met. I know I told you I liked those CDs alright, but then I told you I really didn’t, I actually couldn’t stand them and I wished you wouldn’t play them when I was around. But you continued to play them and not just on your iPod but on the stereo, in the car, etc.

I’m sorry. You were out and I was having a shitty day and I saw them all sitting there on the shelf, and I just grabbed them and smashed them to smithereens. I used that big hammer from the basement ans smashed the shit out of them, and I enjoyed it. Because honestly Sally they are total garbage. The music you listen to is total garbage.

I probably shouldn’t have done this or at least discussed it with you one more time. but the truth is these bands are among the worst in the history of music on earth and when you hum along with them and struggle to sing the lyrics, as if the lyrics are worth struggling after and not even stupider than the music, I just want to throw up. and I wonder how can such an otherwise great, smart and totally hot woman be so fucking stupid when it comes to music.

I hope you understand. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I can replace them but really if I do I’ll probably just smash them again. I’ll be back Saturday and, if you want, I can come over and pick my stuff up because if you plan to listen to this shit again I’m just not going to be able to be there.

J

Sally’s response:

J: Are you joking? Where are you, I’ve left messages. Youre not joking are you. I don’t believe this, I don’t believe you. I’ve been looking for days. No, you don’t have to come over for your stuff. I’m throwing it away after stomping all over it with my boots. So no don’t come over. Ever. I do have good musical taste. You’re just a spoiled immature asshole.

I’m sorry– this is hysterical.  I’d love to say that I don’t blame J for smashing all of his girlfriend’s heinous CD’s with a hammer, but in reality, if my boyfriend smashed any of my records he didn’t approve of, regardless of how bad they are, I would probably break something very valuable of his as retribution.  Probably a body part.  But we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

The main question being posed here is whether bad taste in music is really a deal-breaker, especially regarding “an otherwise great, smart, and totally hot” significant other?

I’m torn on the issue.  Loud mouth-breathing? Deal-breaker.  Referring to oneself in the third person?  Deal-breaker. But bad taste in music?  I wonder if people can just be nudged in the right direction…

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8 responses

17 03 2010
bros

So I’ll assume we are talking about lifestyle optional things and not physical deal breakers that a person can’t help…

eating shit food would be a dealbreaker for me, like if a guy really liked junk food or thought the olive garden was haute cuisine or pringles or liked tasty cakes or whatever. doesnt matter if he wasnt overweight while still eating these kinds of foods-I just couldnt take it. I’m a bit of a food nazi and an inherent desire for crappy food signals all kinds of terrible things to me.

second would be dressing. Some women can see past bad clothing choices and either bank on being able to ‘nudge in the right direction’ as District Rambling puts it, and some even like the idea of having a project, like getting your man to dress right, going shopping with him etc and doing the man makeover. no. thank. you. you better know what length your sleeves should be, to eschew pleats, and not wear running shoes with jeans. Im not saying a guy has to be mr. stylebug, but a complete blindness to appearance?…..perhaps shallow, perhaps inescapable evolutionary impulse….

17 03 2010
rockymtnhigh

Rick Astley? And I thought my collection of Erasure cds were reason enough for musical self-denial.

17 03 2010
jpac

Um I think Peter Gabriel is great. Do I have bad taste in music? Is my boyfriend going to break up with me? I hope not. Now I have Sledgehammer in my head.

17 03 2010
graber

I think we all know that anyone who likes Fleetwood Mac is totally not worth keeping around! C’mon!

20 03 2010
katie

definitely a dealbreaker… this guy has basically the entire world in agreement with him that these bands are awful and she still listens to them – with him in her presence. looking past this singular anecdote, i do suppose it really depends on where music falls on your personal priority/things-i-live-and-die-for list. I know this makes me the less noble person, but I’m not going to date a bible thumper. I don’t want to have to be supportive and get jazzed about something that’s absolutely stupid. Likewise, I will not date anyone who likes Train.

20 03 2010
katie

I’ve got more to add! clearly this has sparked something within. Six years ago, my friend, Jess, tried to convince me that it didn’t matter if John Meyer was bad because she liked listening to his music. The argument is simple enough. However, as with any art form, if you’re just getting a cheap thrill out of it and it lacks context and substance, isn’t that the equivalent of aural junk food? I need not delve into Meyer’s subsequent suckassness of late to prove this point. So in conclusion, quality does matter.

21 03 2010
CB

Valid argument, Katie, if there is really a “junk food” vs. “high context/substance” in music. I’m not a fan of opera, which is seen by some as one of the most sophisticated forms of music. From an opera lover’s standpoint, am I just out for cheap thrills because I like rock and roll? I think it’s more of a taste thing…some people like country, some like pop, some rap..etc. Music is personal. It’s what moves you to dance or lifts your spirits or inspires you to exercise or study or whatever. It’s kind of like mullets…we all make fun of them and look down on people who sport them, but in some circles they’re considered cool and attractive. It’s a taste thing. But I do agree with you that it’s a dealbreaker to have repelling tastes in music. I could never listen to John Meyer no matter how much I loved my significant other.

21 03 2010
katie

CB – fully agree with you in the grand scheme of life, get along with your fellow man kind of way. I only mean that if you let someone into that deep, dark inner circle that you save for intimate partners, then things like musical taste really does matter. And if my significant other liked opera and I did not at all get it, then I would still be able to respect and admire him for that. I would not be able to respect any admire him for liking something crappy. So, different + good = respect. different + crappy = derision and scorn

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