Oh, Heavens!

28 04 2010

Wow.  I was definitely ‘blindsided’ by this juicy piece of news.  I’m surprised People mag didn’t entirely self-destruct when they got the scoop.

Apparently, Sandra Bullock and Jesse James secretly adopted a baby three months ago. The baby, who was born in New Orleans in January, is named Louis Bardo Bullock, and will be called “Louie” after Louis Armstrong.  They were planning to keep the baby a secret until the Oscars, and then right as they were about to share the good news with the world, a different, less joyous story broke and killed all the magic.

Aw, isn’t that baby PRECIOUS?  I want to steal him and make him watch “How to Train Your Dragon 3D” with me.

Here’s the shitty part: Sandra announced to People magazine that, in addition to having a secret adopted baby, she was definitely filing for divorce. The HuffPost story reads:

“Yes, I have filed for divorce,” the 45-year-old Oscar-winning actress said in an interview with People. “I’m sad and I am scared.”Bullock and James, 41, began the adoption process four years ago, the report said, and brought 3 1/2-month-old Louis Bardo Bullock home in January but decided to keep the news to themselves until after the Academy Awards.

In the interview, Bullock said she is savoring her new maternal status.

“You wake up, you feed, you burp, you play, you do laundry,” she said. “I’m still in that stage where I’m just amazed with him and at life.”

“All I said when I met him was, ‘Oh, there you are.’ It was like he had always been a part of our lives.”

The baby, called Louie, is named after jazz great Louis Armstrong, who had particularly touched her with his signature song, “What a Wonderful World,” said Bullock. The child was born in New Orleans, a city where Bullock and James had both spent time after Katrina.

Bullock said she got the call that a baby might be available for adoption during what she described as “the media craziness of the awards season.

Deciding to shield Louis from that turmoil, she kept his existence a secret from all but a few trusted associates and loved ones. Her life (and his) became an ongoing process of secrecy and diversion.

Sigh.  Now, I knew Sandra was pissed when she found out her husband cheated with a bunch of tattoo models and strippers.  I knew she was really, really pissed, and I felt bad for her already.  But imagine finding out your husband cheated on you THREE MONTHS after you adopted a newborn baby together.  OMG.  I would run over him with one of the motorcycles he built, and then tattoo a big “F*CK YOU” across his forehead with his own tattoo needle while he was unconscious.  And then poke him in the eye with it.  I’m serious.  I would.

Here is Jesse’s response statement, courtesy of Dlisted:

“My whole life has been full of hard decisions.The decision to let my wife end our marriage, and continue the adoption of Louis on her own, has been the hardest. The love I have for Louis cannot be put to words. Not having him around to love and to hold has left a huge hole in my heart.

Sandy is the love of my life, but considering the pain and devastation I have caused her, it would be selfish to not let her go. Right now it is time for me to beat this addiction that has taken two of the things I love the most in life.

I have always taken great pride in proving people wrong. That time has come once again to show that I am not what everyone says I am. I know in my heart that I can be the best father possible to my four children, and the mate Sandy deserves, and realize that this is an incredible mountain to climb. But I believe that the steps I have taken in the last 30 days are the foundation for making this happen. The lifelong commitment I am making is what being a real husband and father is all about.

I ask that you please do not judge Sandy for the things I have done. She has done no wrong. She played no part in any of this. She has been an amazing wife, mother, and best friend, for the over 6 years we have been together.”

Aw, poor you.  You’ve had so many tough decisions to make, including letting your wife divorce you and raise the baby on her own.  What a freaking martyr you are.  And don’t worry… nobody’s judging Sandy. We’re judging you, you lying sack of fertilizer.

Cheers to Sandra and her beautiful baby.  I hope she finds a better man to share her life with, but even if she doesn’t, I hope she finds the personal strength and support from her friends to take care of that baby on her own and give him all the love and attention he deserves.

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10 responses

28 04 2010
bros

I am still confused. if they brought the baby home in January, how can he be 3.5 months old?

28 04 2010
geof

1) I just looked up Jesse James b/c I didn’t know who the hell he was. He was a bodyguard for Danzig and Slayer. He has full sleeves. He builds motorcycles. He used to be married to a porn star. Come on, Sandra, are you REALLY surprised? What did her checklist look like? I guess Jesse just loves Mamma Mia.
2) Black baby named after Louie Armstrong b/c Sandra feels “particularly touched” by the song Its a Wonderful World? Facile and subtly racist. That song is part of the culture. EVERYBODY LIKES THAT SONG. You don’t get to be touched by it more than anyone else. “I named my baby Happy, because the song Happy Birthday really speaks to ME as an individual”.
3) The baby is looking directly at the camera with a “Really??” expression, because he can’t believe it either.
4) Several years ago, I was working at the bike store next to the Italian Store in Arlington when Sandra Bullock ate there (she is from Arlington, you know). It particularly touched me, so I’m naming my baby Philly Style with Peppers.

28 04 2010
bros

come on now, both my brothers are named after jazz musicians and they have white parents. this feels like a bit of a stretch. if she named the baby after a white musician, tongues would be wagging probably more. at least its not a weird musician name that is obvious, like lil bow wow or something. Louie is not that unique.

28 04 2010
BS

she should have named it after Keanu Reeves, her co-star in Speed

28 04 2010
geof

oh alright. i just wanted to make fun of sandra bullock, who is on my top five list of a-list actresses that i do not like. i hadn’t actually compiled this list until just now, but i knew instinctively that sandra would be on it.
1) Julia Roberts
2) Angelina
3) Sandra
4) Megan Fox
5) Cameron Diaz

28 04 2010
districtramblings

I don’t understand how it’s possible to not like Sandra Bullock. She’s like, impossibly friendly and down to earth.

But I agree about Julia and Megan Fox. blagh.

28 04 2010
graber

like she hasn’t received enough unwanted attention in the past month already so she decides to pose for a picture staged from stills of The Lion King on the cover of People Magazine?! (run-on?)

maybe she should take her baby and go live quietly.

also, BS, good call on Keanu – Speed is one of the greatest movies ever.

28 04 2010
Parker

As a resident of NOLA, I think it’s great that she’s rescuing a child from a third world country. Wish them well.

29 04 2010
cb

I get Julia, Meghan and Angelina, but Cameron Diaz? According to the show-biz magazines, she has a reputation in Hollywood of being one of the nicest and easiest actresses to work with. Take it back.

29 04 2010
cb

“I hear babies cry, I watch them grow, they’ll learn much more than I’ll ever know” makes me want to run out and adopt babies too…of any color. It’s a maternal thing. Sandra’s in her 40’s and has never had a child. It is kind of coincidental however that she adopted a black baby right after filming the Blindside, about white people taking in a black kid.

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