Is There A Worse Way To Die Than This?

30 04 2010

A man in China has died after an eel that was inserted into his rectum ate through his intestines, causing internal bleeding.  The Guanabee article reads:

The 59 year-old chef–whose name has not been disclosed– was taken to a Sischuan hospital with severe anal bleeding, abdominal pain. Local doctors, unable to figure out what was causing the symptoms obtained permission from the family to conduct a laparotomy– a surgical incision into the abdominal wall done to examine the abdominal organs.

Once inside, the doctors found a 50cm long, dead Asian swamp eel stuck in the man’s rectal region. The slithery fish had bit it’s way through the intestine. The man was then taken to the intensive care unit, but died ten days later from internal bleeding and sepsis.

But how did the eel end up in the man’s anus? According to reports, the chef had consumed copious amounts of eel the day before, but doctors couldn’t figure out how a live eel ended up in his rectum. Eventually, his friends confessed to have inserted the live eel up his anus as a joke after the man passed out from drinking heavily.

I mean, I’ve heard of some crazy practical jokes, but this is by FAR the least acceptable of them all.  When your drunk friend passes out, you take a permanent marker and draw a penis on his face.  You don’t stick a live, flesh-eating eel up his butt.

China continues to impress me with its general absurdity and awesomeness.

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11 responses

30 04 2010
BS

Sounds like viral marketing for http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/human_centipede/

30 04 2010
Vjane

just testing

30 04 2010
Vjane

A friend of mine lost a grandson when he was in college. He and “friends” went to a bar off campus and he drank too much and passed out. While he was out, his “friends” thought it would be funny to hold his mouth open and pour more liquor down his throat. He died before an ambulance could get to him. I went to the funeral and there were his “friends” crying. Me too !! The guys in China who shoved the eel up the man’s butt had to know this was not funny. And this poor man died a horrible painful death. If we read our history, China has a really bad record of being cruel to prisoners, executing people who disagree with the government – all the way back to the emporors who chopped peoples heads off for the same reasons. China doesn’t fool around. It’s off with your head —- I wonder if the guys who did the eel “joke” will be brought to justice.

30 04 2010
IP

$100 an eel kills Kenny on next week’s South Park.

30 04 2010
Phelps

Not a very eelegant way to go.
He wasn’t eelated about this one.
Eels in the butt are soooo eelementary school.
I guess the ambeelance wasn’t in time.
Indeed, China’s record is reely bad.
Weel they be brought to justice? WEEL THEY?!

30 04 2010
luke

great comment, or GREATEST COMMENT???

30 04 2010
districtramblings

hahahaha greatest.

30 04 2010
bros

“I absolutely do not rule out the possibility that the Chinese are, on average, genetically predisposed to putting eels up other people’s asses in a cruel attempt to be funny. I could also obviously be convinced that by controlling for the right variables, we would see that they are, in fact, as able to not kill their friends as white people under the same circumstances. The fact is, some things are genetic.”

30 04 2010
Swirlz

nah, this one gets Greatest Comment. Way to track back.

1 05 2010
graber

the whole thing is funny but at ‘1:10’ is what I thought of immediately when I read this.

1 05 2010
cb

The poor eel. Where are the cruelty to animals activists?

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