Babies

20 05 2010

I don’t know what’s more embarrassing: the fact that I paid $10 to go see “Babies” in the theater last week, or the fact that I was riveted and on the edge of my seat for the entire 2 hours of random, plotless baby footage.

For those of you who will never see the movie, I can tell you that it’s exactly what you would expect it to be.  A camera follows these four babies around for the first couple of years of their lives.  There is no story, no fiction at all, and barely any dialogue– it’s literally just a beautiful, extended home video about 4 toddlers growing up in very different parts of the world.

They cut to the Tokyo baby, and she is sitting by herself in a room full of toys trying to figure out how to get this one yellow stick into this one blue hole. Every time she fails, she throws herself on the ground and screams as if the world is ending, and it’s hilarious.  Then they cut to the Mongolian baby, who is sticking his entire arm into a goat’s mouth.  The goat is clearly confused, but it doesn’t bite the baby because the baby is so innocent looking.  Then they cut to the African baby, who is playing in the dirt with a pile of flies as his mom shaves his head.  The African baby is pretty much the cutest baby on the planet, just very smiley and laid-back and easily self-entertained.  Finally, they cut to the San Francisco baby, who is having to endure a Mom and baby yoga class with this awful new-age teacher and didgeridoo music.  The baby just gets up and walks out of the class, clearly pissed that she is having to do mom-baby yoga with a bunch of yuppies while Mongolian baby gets to play with live goats.

What really surprised me about my experience of this movie is that I was actually repelled by the San Francisco and Tokyo babies.  I thought that I would think the babies were all cute in their own little ways, but no.  The city babies weren’t cute, I hated all the stuff– the strollers, the cereal choices, the toys, the bouncy chairs, the doting adults.  The babies in Mongolia and Africa were just so much more peaceful and happy and simple.  They would be sitting in a tub of water and a yak would come up and drink out of the water, and they would just giggle. Silly yak!  Get out of my bathtub!  But if a yak walked up to the San Francisco baby, the mother would probably mace it in the face and sue the city for negligence, or something.

I thought the movie was going to give me baby fever, but instead, it made me afraid to have a baby in this overstimulated, consumer-driven world.  Man, it’s not gonna have a chance!  I want to move out to Mongolia when I get pregnant and let the farm animals help raise my kid.  No baby showers, no plastic toys, no over-complicated strollers and expensive day-cares.  Just sticks and grass and buckets of water and wild animals.   I’ll have to bring a sturdy espresso machine.

Advertisements

Actions

Information

13 responses

20 05 2010
cb

Well, you’re right, we are spoiled and can learn some lessons in over-indulgence and excessiveness from this cultural study, but I’ll keep my indoor plumbing and warm clean water to bathe my baby so I don’t have to do it in a tub outside with dirty water and flies biting at us. But I would love to see better consumer restraint on the buying of plastic toys and baby supplies, especially stuff that is only usable for the first couple of months and then is outgrown or no longer needed.

20 05 2010
districtramblings

Case in point: Diaper Jeans. http://jezebel.com/5543522/diaper-jeans-for-babies-who-poop-in-style

Most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen.

20 05 2010
geof

oh come on. you still have baby fever.

just stick to your guns when you have kids. don’t let people buy a bunch of crap you don’t want. think of your children as a banana republic that you are the dictator of. of course, you’ll have to wear those ropes that attach to epaulets and wear dark glasses inside, but that’s a small price to pay if you want your child to have the freedom to stick its arm in a goat. what is the saying? it takes a village goat to raise a child.

20 05 2010
cb

Baby fever? Get a dog.

20 05 2010
Tdog

can we breed?

20 05 2010
bros

you really go to the weirdest movies. unless they were trying to make a point about how gross american babies are, I cant even see why they made this. Im gonna go take my birth control pill and hope my boobs get bigger.

20 05 2010
graber

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

20 05 2010
cb

okay, I’ll indulge you. How many?

20 05 2010
graber

It really depends on how hard you throw them…

20 05 2010
jayneyomamasfriend

Man, you got it BAD. Tick…tick…tick……………………Hey,Laura, you surely were raised in an “overstimulated, consumer driven” (I prefer to describe it as comfortable and loving) atmosphere and you’re OK. (smile)

20 05 2010
Vjane

brose – when you decide your boobs are big enough, please have a baby. You know how to raise a baby the smart way. And LB – when you get pregnant, you dont have to move to Mongolia to let your baby play with sticks and stones and buckets of water. And besides, if you live in Mongolia, where would you plug in your espresso machine ???? I have a comment on the babies in the film. No comment on the San Francisco baby – stupid Mother – and the African baby = adorable but probably no chance in a future becuse of disease, lack of clean water, education etc. Cute now but what about later ?? The Mongolian baby also cute sitting in a tub of water or with his arm down a goats mouth – cute but what comes next ?? Now the Tokyo baby although obnoxious pitching a fit trying to fit a square peg in a round hole or whatever, but she will figure it out and when she gets to school she will graduate at the top of her class like most Asians and go on to Medical school or wherever. brose and LB you are both smart so have your babies the smart way. I want to hold them.

20 05 2010
graber

i love the internet.

25 05 2010
districtramblings

I’m speechless.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: