Yesterday afternoon, some friends and I went to the Nationals game to watch them get crushed by the Mets (hooray?). What’s cool about home games is that each player gets to pick a personalized at-bat theme song. The choices range from Pearl Jam’s “Even Flow” to unrecognizable crunk rap to Metallica’s version of “Turn the Page.” I think they are generally supposed to be loud and manly and intimidating, maybe to scare the pitcher or something.
Anyway, we got to talking about theme songs. What would our at-bat theme songs be? My friend said his would be “Rape Me” by Nirvana, which I thought left something to be desired in the intimidation department. I would probably pick something slow and melodramatic by Celine Dion, just to mess with the pitcher’s head. Maybe “All By Myself,” or “Because You Loved Me.” Can’t you picture it? I’m walking up to bat, swinging my sinewy arms around and spitting brown dip spit into the dirt as I step up to the plate, and Celine comes on the loudspeaker: “When I was young, I never needed anyone, and makin’ love was just for fun… Those days are gone.” How are you gonna throw me a fast-ball after that?
This conversation obviously gave way to a broader conversation about life theme songs. Everyone has thought about his or her life theme song, which wouldn’t play ALL the time, just at key emotional climaxes. Or you could have a few different songs that correspond to the different major emotions– happiness, sadness, anger, fear, humiliation– and always play at the appropriate times.
For instance, I would appreciate it if Van Morrison’s “Bright Side of the Road” played throughout the universe at key happy moments in my life, like when I’m walking down the street after getting a big job promotion. When I’m pissed off, I would like for Limp Bizkit’s “Break Stuff” to blast out of the clouds. And while I’m getting married, I think that everyone on the planet should be forced to listen to Elvis’ “It’s Now or Never,” just to make sure we’re all on the same page. Know what I mean?
But if I had to pick one overarching theme song for myself that would follow me around and color my moods, I would choose “Woman’s Got Soul,” by the Impressions.
So there you have it. What’s your theme song?