Glenn Beck Hates on Michelle Obama, I Hate on Glenn Beck.

27 05 2010

Too sexy for Glenn Beck!

Glenn Beck–a self-proclaimed bastion of Christian values– has taken it upon himself to critique the First Lady’s fashion choices on his radio show.  Alluding to a Drudge Report picture of Michelle Obama wearing a formal blue dress at a recent state dinner (which Drudge headlined “Sex in the City,” disparagingly), Beck ranted:

“She looks positively like she’s trying to be some Greek statue.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen the first lady with her, with her– excuse the expression– breasts all smushed up. I mean what is that?…I saw that picture and I was like, what is that?  I mean it’s like a Greek statue.  Just bizarre.”

Now, I am forced to watch Glenn Beck at work every afternoon, and I have trained myself to just tolerate/ignore him instead of pulling my hair out and screaming at the TV like I used to.  He’s a raging idiot, but he’s so crazy that his craziness doesn’t even offend me anymore.  You know that junkie-alcoholic on the corner that preaches about Jesus into his megaphone and tries to hand out Bibles, and everybody just walks by and tries not to make eye contact?  That’s who Glenn Beck is to me.

But when he starts flapping his gums about Michelle Obama not dressing conservatively enough, it really makes me want to find him wherever he is and smack him across the face.  Did he seriously say that her breasts were “all smushed up?”  That is wildly inappropriate, not to mention weird.  Stay out of the First Lady’s breasts, you creepy troll.  She looks fantastic, confident, vibrant, and she backs it up with more intelligence and wit than I’ve ever seen in a First Lady, so more power to her if she wants to channel “Greek goddess” at a state dinner.

I’d say that I’m looking forward to the next time Glenn Beck’s wife steps out in an evening gown, but unfortunately the Obamas have way too much class to make a snide comment in return.

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8 responses

27 05 2010
B

“He who is without sin may cast the first stone,” right?

27 05 2010
B

Fail. Fail, fail, fail. Here’s the link:

27 05 2010
bros

what does that pasty flaccid burrito head know about fashion anyway? why is this even something he needs to comment on. does glenn beck have a wife? OMG what a fascinating thought.

27 05 2010
districtramblings

exactly! when did glenn beck become joan rivers? would he EVER critique an outfit laura bush was wearing?

he makes me want to pour boiling hot wax into my ears.

27 05 2010
bros

I’ll never forget the scene in Mountains of the Moon when a bug crawls into the guys ear in africa and he has to pour wax in his ear to kill it. and then he stabs himself in the ear because he can still hear the bug.

27 05 2010
geof

maybe we can get a bug to crawl into glenn beck’s ear

28 05 2010
bros

the schizo already has several, obviously.

27 05 2010
OKinAK

Conservatives are typically uptight about women’s sexuality because they aren’t good at or comfortable with sex. That is, unless the women are being marketed as sex objects (Sarah Palin). They have trouble with smart, confident, beautiful women and always will.

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