4 06 2010

You know what’s the most awkward thing ever?  When you get nervous around somebody you don’t know very well and respond inappropriately to their polite greetings.  Like when your boss walks into the office after you haven’t seen her in 2 months, and she leans in Euro-style to kiss you on the cheek and you stick out your hand to shake hers.  Then your hand jabs into her ribcage, and the two of you bob back and forth a little saying things like, “Oh, oops! Haha, I was goin for the shake…”  Then she says something like, “How are you?” and you say “Not much!  Not much.”  Then you realize what she said, and you backtrack.  “Oh wait did you say ‘HOW are you?’  I thought you said ‘Hi what’s NEW.’ Haha.  Uh, I’m good.  I was actually just running out to the restroom, but good to see you!” and then she just kind of politely smiles and tries to greet someone else.

Literally, no meaningful words or gestures have been exchanged between the two of you but the interaction is already so excrutiating that you both just mutually abort the conversation and avoid eye contact for the next few hours.  Does anyone else have this problem, or is it JUST me?




6 responses

4 06 2010

the only thing awkward about that is that your boss leans in to kiss you.

4 06 2010

You know what’s also awkward? Showing up to your old house where the new guy living there is wearing the same thing as you.

And does a better job than you even though he had to clean up all your messes.

4 06 2010

One time I was with my friend and said ‘hey remember when (other friend) made those chicken nuggets and they tasted terrible but we just told him we weren’t hungry?’ and he said ‘dude I made those.’ Then I said, ‘yeah I had some, they were actually pretty good.’

4 06 2010


7 06 2010

that’s hilarious. it reminds me of when I was rehearsing for a ballet performance and afterward we were sitting on the stage, and one of my friends says, “who is that creepy fat chester-the-molester sitting in the audience watching the rehearsal?” and my other friend said “that’s my dad.”

7 06 2010

in my world, the phone equivalent happens multiple times a day when talking to business relationships that I usually have not even met in person.

I have about 15 of these conversations a week

“Hey, how are you doing? How was the weekend?
“Great, how was yours?”
“Great thank you. How’s the weather over there” [me usually not even remembering where ‘there’ even is]
“It was really [either unbearably hot or unbearably cold]”
“Oh man, supposed to be get much better…”

*awkward silence where we both realize that we’re not really friends”

“So about those TPS reports….”

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