Crackheads to Jeremy London: ‘Hit This Or I’ll Kill You’

21 06 2010

Haha, remember that time you were changing a tire and a bunch of crackheads kidnapped you, forced you to smoke crack at gunpoint and then made you buy liquor and distribute it to their friends?

Yea, me neither.  But actor Jeremy London (Mallrats, Party of Five), who has a history of drug and alcohol problems, claims this is exactly what happened to him last Thursday night.  He was just innocently changing his tire when two men stopped to help him.

“After the tire was changed he offered to drive them home, and it was then they held him at gunpoint and drove him around terrorizing him for hours.

‘He told officers (during the kidnapping) that he was forced to smoke dope [crack cocaine or amphetamines] and then purchase booze and hand it out in a gang area of Palm Springs,’ a policeman told Radar.

Luckily London managed to escape around 3 a.m. Thursday, five hours after his kidnapping. His car was later found and two men were charged with the kidnapping Wednesday.”

…Hmm.  In case you find yourself questioning the possibility that a rogue group of crack dealers is running around forcing people to smoke their drugs for free, rest assured that you’re not alone.  Jeremy’s wife Melissa (who also has a history of drug problems) is one step ahead of you:

“Jeremy claims that the kidnappers told him, ‘Hit this! Hit this or I’m gonna kill you!’ while holding a gun to his head and forcing him to smoke some sort of drug.

Melissa addressed the doubters, citing a new wave of crime.

‘I just hope this never happens to them,’ she [said]. ‘Police told us this is the new thing to do down here… rob people at gunpoint and make them do drugs so they won’t be reliable witnesses. It’s happening more and more. I can tell you that Jeremy was scared for his life. He’s still scared.’

Hit this or I’m gonna kill you?  If I had a nickel every time I heard that from a gang of crackheads trying to get me to buy liquor for them and drive around getting high all night.

I’m sorry– if this whole bizarre ordeal really happened to Jeremy London, then I feel really bad for him and hope that justice is served.  But right now I find the naivety of the police force far more frightening than the overzealous crack dealers in Compton.  A rich white actor rolls in, claims some black dudes robbed him and forced him to smoke crack, and their immediate response is to arrest the dudes and ask Jeremy London if he’s OK.

No, he’s not OK– he’s coming down from a major crack bender.  Please get him some Advil, sunglasses, Vitamin water, greasy food, and a couple extra bodyguards.  Next time this happens, he might not be in such a forgiving mood.




4 responses

21 06 2010

whats weird is that this is a plot line lifted directly from six feet under.

21 06 2010

I’m on a diet. I hope a gang of obese women doesn’t chase me down and force me to eat a dozen Krispie Kreme doughnuts at gunpoint.

21 06 2010

Now that’s an interesting thought CB – at least you would be forced to eat the best. I would take krispie Kreme any day rather than being forced to shoot myself with drugs.

22 06 2010

First of all I wouldn’t think the sleepy, yuppie, mid-century house haven that is Palm Springs would be the gang ravaged, urban waste land comparable to Compton. But a quick search on City Data reveals that Palm Springs has 1.45x the national average for car theft. But looking at the other high crimes committed in Palm Springs Jeremy London should count himself lucky that he wasn’t forced to smoke crack, bootleg booze and raped. Now that would have a been a “about last night” story!

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