I hate it when people try to tell you about their dreams, because it’s never as cool or interesting to you as it is to them, unless the dream happens to involve you doing something really heroic, in which case it’s fine. But usually, it comes out something like this:
“So you and I were in this tube. Like, one of those big tubes in the ceilings of buildings that you crawl through to get away from the cops. Wait, it might actually not have been you, because halfway through the dream you turned into a donkey. And then we were in the woods, and my mom was there, and she was wearing this big purple tutu…”
YAWN, get on with it. I really could not care less about all the dumb images prancing through your brain during the five minutes after your alarm went off this morning.
With that said, I’m going to tell you about the super weird dream I had last night. I’ll keep it down to two run-on sentences:
I dreamed that this guy was trying to kiss me, but right before his face made it to mine, I told him to hold on a sec because I had to take my retainer out. I proceeded to pull the giant, clunky retainer (which I don’t have in real life) out of my mouth, and then I realized there was another retainer in there, so I pulled it out too, and then I realized there were like layers and layers of braces and retainers, and by the time I got done through ripping them all out there were all these wires sticking out everywhere and the guy just said, “Nevermind.”
Then I woke up. AAAAAGGGGHHHH! What a horrible, horrible nightmare!
But I feel better having made you all sit through it.