I’m Sorry, But This Is Deeply Upsetting.

25 01 2011

This is an actual shirt being sold by Wet Seal. I know this because, after seeing the post on Jezebel about it, I checked the online store. And indeed, the description of the shirt reads:

“Fun and trendy tunic features a contrast body, screen printed ‘If your single, then so am I’ on front, short sleeves and a scoop neckline.”

Uhhhhh….. Are you serious, Wet Seal? I’m actually upset over here. The tears are welling up. I feel like you just scratched your pointy, jewel-encrusted acrylic nails down the chalkboard of my tainted heart.

I mean, I know Wet Seal is not exactly a bastion of classy sportswear, but I’m pretty sure the “Your Single tunic” is actively making the youth of America dumber. AND sluttier. If I were a dude and I saw a girl approaching me on the street in this shirt, no matter how many decades it had been since I got laid, I would find the nearest Cracker Jack box, jam in my fist, pull out the plastic ring and shove it on my left hand so fast the friction would burn my flesh.

How many layers of corporate executives had to approve this POS before it made its way out of the idiot factory and into my personal shopping space? You people need to lay off the paint-chip sandwiches and invest in some Hooked on Phonics for shit’s sake. It worked for me.

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6 responses

25 01 2011
bros

Have we ruled out that this is not some masterpiece of irony? like maybe the executives at wet seal are having a big laugh at their consumers’ expense? What if wet seal customers are engaging in an irony within an irony? this could be the Inception of T-shirts.

25 01 2011
geof

i think this might be mashup of engrish and corporate irresponsibility. yay globalization!

31 01 2011
Mark

Whoever runs this blog, can you email me at jyreardo@gmail.com

I want to ask you a quick question, and I cannot find your contact info on this blog.

Thanks a ton,

Mark

23 02 2011
rockymtnhigh

It took me a moment to realize what you were objecting to. This is what happens when phonetic spelling is combined with the truncated bastardization of the english language through texting. I could understand using ‘u r’ but ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’?

I think the use of ‘z’ as a way to pluralize wordz should be a punishable offense.

26 02 2011
GN

But the difference is that everybody knows you pluralize with an s and not a z, so when you use a z you’re just being cute. Using your for you’re is clearly a grammar fail. Another one that drives me nuts is the sign in the grocery store marking the canned goods aisle that says CAN GOODS. How much more would it have cost to add three more letters and make it grammatically correct?

1 03 2011
geof

I like to think the grocer is just asking patrons to ponder what it is that goods can do.

Also, he may be using can as a descriptive adjective instead of incorrectly conjugating the verb, as in is that a bath towel or a kitchen towel.

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