Clergy Blames Priest Pedophilia Crisis on ‘Homosexuality’

Cardinal Bertone in his Cardinal Outfit

Wanna hear something funny?  When asked about the recent rash of Priest molestation cases during a news conference in Chile yesterday, the Vatican’s second-in-command, Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, made the following comment:

“Many psychologists and psychiatrists have demonstrated that there is no relation between celibacy and pedophilia. But many others have demonstrated, I have been told recently, that there is a relation between homosexuality and pedophilia. That is true. That is the problem.”

I would like to have a word with these “psychologists” and “psychiatrists,” and/or get my hands on a copy of their alleged studies.  Cause I could just as easily attend a news conference and announce to the media that I know a number of “experts” who have demonstrated a relation between the entire Catholic clergy and an insatiable hunger for power + unlimited access to wine and obedient children in robes, and I would be, well, probably much closer to reality than he is.

“Homosexuality” is not a pathological condition, it’s a sexual orientation, quite in the same way that “heterosexuality” (gasp!) is.  Celibacy, on the other hand, is an unnatural, self-imposed denial of one’s natural instincts.  You tell me which condition is more likely to produce a pedophile?

And what can account for the fact that a number of these recent accusations of pedophilia have come from young girls?  In fact, according to an article in the HuffPost yesterday,  “one of the highest-profile pedophiles in the Chilean church victimized young girls, including a teenager who became pregnant.”  The article continues:

“At the time, the archbishop of the capital, Santiago, received multiple complaints about Father Jose Andres Aguirre from families concerned for their daughters. But the priest – known to his parishioners as Father Tato – continued serving at a number of Catholic girls schools in the city.

Later the church sent Aguirre out of Chile twice amid abuse allegations. He was eventually sentenced to 12 years in prison for abusing 10 teenage girls.”

So, wait.  If Father Tato wasn’t gay… then what in God’s name could possibly explain his behavior?! Surely the fact that he made a promise to Jesus never to have sex again couldn’t have had anything to do with it, because Cardinal Bertone said he knows some psychologists who have found no link between celibacy and pedophilia.  You know what?  Socialism.  That’s Father Tato’s problem– he was a socialist.  Probably pro choice too, the commie bastard.  Once we rid the priesthood of liberals and homosexuals, all will be right in the Catholic church again.

Well, I’m relieved.